Boy Racers, MPV’s, Oldies and Other Drivers. No Wonder Driving Is So Frustrating!

Driving these days is so frustrating.

I have noticed that you can always tell what kind of person someone is by the car they drive. Here is my theory;

• Vauxhall Zafira, Vauxhall Mariva, Renault Scienic, Renalt Espace, Citroen Xarra Piccasso, or any other type of MPV:- The people who buy these are the modern parent type of people who let their kids run riot around shopping centres and who are more than likely going to batter your car with their doors as they try and get their squawking brats into the car. And why on earth do they make them so big? They are like sheds on wheels! Most of them have 7 seats nowadays. Does anyone actually see 7 people in one? I have only ever seen at the maximum about 4 people in one. So why don’t they just buy a normal car?

• Vauxhall Vectra, Vauxhall Astra, VW Golf, VW Passat, any BMW, any Audi and Ford Mondeo’s :- These cars are mainly bought by men who drive like complete maniacs and get so far up you arse they are virtually sitting in your boot. Any why is it the owners of these cars go tearing around at 100mph? What’s their hurry? And they are always the modern man type. The kind who works in IT and who has all the modern gadgets. The kind of man who thinks every woman loves him when really they all think he is a big headed prick. If you are going to try and impress someone with your car buy a proper one.

• Vauxhall Aglia, Suzuki Splash, Ford Fiesta, Suzuki Ignis, Rover 45, Nissan Micra, Citroen C3 and the majority of small, cheap to run cars :- Old person mobiles. In my opinion when you reach the age of 60 you should have to have a driving test done every year. Simply because you get all the oldies driving so slow that they are more likely to cause an accident by driving slow than what they are driving fast. Worst part is when you get on the A1 single carriage way. You are doing 60 mph then all of a sudden you have to slam you brakes on because some old granny is doing 40 mph you are more likely to either go into the back of her or the driver behind you will got into the back of you. And all because some old person is to tight on fuel consumption and who will be likely to piss themselves if they go over 45 mph. It just annoys other drivers. They should make cycle lanes into old person/cycle lanes. Then the cyclists can see what it’s like to be held up for a change.

• Vauxhall Corsa, Citroen Saxo, Ford Fiesta, Peugeot 206, Fiat Punto, Ford Focus, Rover 25/ MG ZR, Renault Clio, and any other smallish car that doesn’t scream old person mobile :- 9 times out of ten the people who drive these cars will be boy racers. Yes the guys who drive around and around in circles with their music blasting and their induction kits and big Bora exhausts that can be heard miles and miles away. The guys who think they look cool with cars that look like they have been covered in glue and ploughed into Halfords at 100 mph. Sorry my mistake half of them couldn’t do 100 mph. 80 mph sounds better. And why do they drive around housing estates at stupid o’clock with the music blasting and their cars making a racket? How would they like it if someone went into their room while they were sleeping, started blasting that Monkey crap and banging a pan with a wooden spoon? I am sure there would be some complaints then.

• 4×4’s and flat bed trucks :- These people love to think that they are indestructible. Especially in bad weather conditions. When it is icey or wet on the roads they still persist to speed around like idiots thinking that they won’t skid. Well guess what Mr-I-have-an-off-roader-so-I-can-do-what-I-want? I will piss myself laughing and shout “TOSSER” as I drive past while you are in a hedge.

• Any Mercedes, any Jaguar, and any other upper class saloon cars :- These are nearly always driven by middle aged people. And the problem with that? Well they are neither old nor young and that means that if they want to they can get right up your arse or they can take the piss and drive really slow. These drivers are really unpredictable and are mostly snobs.

Now I will admit that I have a Fiat Punto. I am not a boy racer, obviously, I am not a slow ass driver and I am not one of the modern-day people. I am the type of person who sticks to speed limits, who never drives too slow but who never gets up peoples arses, unless they are taking the sheer piss and I am about to overtake them. The majority of women drivers between the ages of 20-50 are like this. So why do us women tend to lose our driving capabilities when we become an oldie?

And I love how men complain about women drivers. It has been proven that men cause more accidents on the roads compared to women and it has also been proven that a woman’s reactions are a lot more responsive than a man’s.
So stick that up your exhaust and drive it Mr I-Hate-Bloody-Women-Driver’s.

I also cannot stand those drivers who don’t use their indicators. Erm hello that’s that the stalk on the left goes up and down for, so you can tell people where the hell you are going! And insurance companies wonder why there are so many accidents on the road these days.

By Jennalla Posted in Life

2 comments on “Boy Racers, MPV’s, Oldies and Other Drivers. No Wonder Driving Is So Frustrating!

    • Glad you like the article and I hope you aren’t too offended by it. It is suppose to be a humorous post. :). And it could be worse, you could have a Suzuki Wagon R… Now THAT is an oldies mobile. Lol.


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