Decisions and changes

People often tell us to follow our heads over our hearts when it comes to tough decisions and tricky situations, because following your head will always be the smartest move right?

But what if following your head is going to make you miserable? Should you not then follow your heart so you are happy?

Following your head isn’t always going to be the right decision, it just seems like the right decision at the time. Following you’re heart doesn’t always mean you will be happy but you would never have known about the happy times if you had followed you head?

Still with me?? Good…

We all make mistakes and wrong decisions, we all have said should I have done that over this, everyone at some point in their lives will dwell over a decision they made because they know that, deep down, if they had followed their hearts then they wouldn’t be dwelling on anything.

One of my friends is currently dwelling on the fact that she has just left her boyfriend of 7 years. Should she have done it? Well in her head she knew she didn’t love him any more and that the relationship was going no where but her heart was telling her that things might change. Things never change, or they might change for a few weeks or so then return back to the old routine, because it is easier.

Anyway she finally bit the bullet and told him to pack his stuff as she was bored of the relationship and she felt that he was holding her back. And yes there were tears, but not from her, she said that he begged her not to end things with him, that he loved her and that she was the one. But she had heard it all before, she had heard it last year when she tried breaking up with him, but she followed her heart then and gave him the chance to change. Obviously he didn’t.

This leads me onto my next point, do people ever change? Or do people just change according to the situation they are in at the time?

Another one of my friends says he has changed, I don’t think he has, to me he is still the same caring person he was when I met him, but maybe that is only around me? People will also change when they are around people who put them in awkward situations, who really piss them off, or who they feel completely relaxed around. Maybe he is just more relaxed around me? Maybe he knows that there needs to be nothing said and that I won’t ask 101 questions? I just sit. Waiting for them to tell you is always the best policy as it doesn’t make them feel as if you are nagging them or putting pressure on them to tell you what is wrong.

If someone says they are fine but you know they aren’t just give them time. Everyone needs a rant and a moan at some point and they will always rant and moan at the people they are closest to or the people who completely understand them. I am this person out of my click of friends. I am the one who gets the phones calls when my friends are crying their eyes out, pissed off or just genuinely sick of life.

But who do I have to support me when I cry, when I am pissed off or when I am just sick of life? I appear to be so strong to my friends so they think I can deal with anything. If anything happens to them I can sort it, if the same thing happens to me I completely go to shit and panic like mad. For example, one of my friends had gone over her over draft, she was freaking out and needed me to go to the bank with her. I managed to sort it. Same thing happened to me and I went into complete panic mode, in the end I ended up getting my mum to come the bank with me.

But getting back to what I was saying about people changing, yes we change in situations because we need to adapt to the atmosphere and mood around us, but we never change as a person, we always remain the same people we have always been. The only time we might seem as if we have changed is to the people who didn’t know us very well to start off with.

There will always be one person you know who will never change. Doesn’t matter what life throws at them or what they have to do to be stronger they will always remain the same as they always were around you. These are the people we need to hang on to, because these are the people who are less likely to hurt you.

Someone once told me that in order to move on in life we had to accept the past and look forward to the future. Dwelling on the past isn’t going to make you happy in the future and changing just to please someone else won’t make you a better person. If people can’t accept you for who you are then they are not worth having in your life.

“2nd chances, they don’t ever matter, people never change.”~ Hayley Williams, Misery Business.

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